I Was Sick and Now I'm Not

I was sick all week last week and I did not stay within my previously designated parameters. I ate what sounded good, within reason, and I did not exercise because I didn't have energy to play with my kids let alone exercise. But, it is a new week and I am feeling good, so I can get back on track.

I desperately need to do grocery shopping because I am all out of my fresh foods and I am running out of options for breakfast. That is the thing about eating healthy, it requires a whole lot of perishable foods which means going shopping a lot. We went shopping a lot two weeks ago, but not at all last week. Matt went out for eggs and milk, but nothing else.

So, it is with renewed fervor that I will continue on my journey. Being sick really threw off my groove.

I haven't been able to do measurements, but I weighed in this morning at 224lbs. Which means that I have lost 4 pounds thus far. Which is almost nothing at all. I'm hoping that my measurements reflect more loss, but I'm not going to do them until next week since last week was pretty much a lost week. I don't think there were any changes last week because I just wasn't trying.

My Progress

Well, I started this a week ago and in that week, I have already revised my original plan because I have to do what works for me!

Eating:

• I still want to stay within 1500 calories, but I am NOT going to starve myself. I will eat when I'm hungry, but I will reach for the carrot sticks instead of the Gardettos when I want a snack. 
• I can't cut sugar completely. This weekend I had a spoonful of trifle and a piece of carrot cake because I made them and they were there and they were delicious! I think I will go with the "moderation" theory. If I really want a piece of cake, I will take a small piece and only one. I can stick to the no candy because I don't really like candy to begin with, but when it comes to baked goods, they are my vice. The solution, obviously is to not make baked goods. I only make sweet treats when we have family events to attend and I am contributing.
• Eat sustainably (totally a word). I want to eat in a way that will change the way I eat forever. I don't want to diet, I want to change my food choices. I don't want to give up cookies forever, that is completely unrealistic, I love cookies too much. But, maybe, I will only eat one cookie instead 6 like I used to do.
• Eat when I'm hungry. One thing I have noticed about me is that I get the munchies and I just want to eat because my mouth wants to eat, not because I am hungry. Also, I'm a social eater. I eat when other people eat because it is a social thing. But, now, I think that I will eat when I am hungry, not when I just want to eat to have a taste in my mouth. When I feel the munchies coming on, I seriously have to assess myself and ask, "Am I hungry?" 

Exercise:

• 3 days of cardio, on my eliptical. I think this is the same as before, but now my wonderful husband does it with me. We switch off on the eliptical and it is so nice to have a partner to do this with. Although Matt is a lot stronger than me. He does the resistance on the elipitical, but I just use it as is, my body and lungs are not strong enough to do the eliptical with resistance.
• 2 days of weights and yoga. I will do two days of yoga and weights in between my cardio days. I want the yoga to tone areas of my body that I want to focus on.
• 2 days of rest. Last week I realized, after 4 straight days of cardio, that my body needed to rest. I was weak when I was on the eliptical and I couldn't sustain my pace, but then, after one day of rest, when I got back on the eliptical, I felt strong again! The exercise plans all say that you need rest days, but I thought I was above it, that I could push through, and then I after doing one, I realized that it actually makes me stronger! The eliptical was a lot easier after my rest day and I felt like I was improving.

This week's goals:

• Increase my eliptical time from 22 minutes to 30 minutes (still with no resistance).
• Buy a yoga mat because yoga on the carpet is ridiculous and then I don't want to do my yoga.
• Be able to do 24 bicep curls with the 8 pound weights.
• Keep within my 1500 calories at least during the weekdays.

Weekly Weigh In

I was going to post this last Friday, but I neglected to do so. And, I was going to include my initial photos, but I left my camera at Momma Kimball's so I am posting without it. I will weigh in and do measurements once a week so I can hopefully track my progress.

Dominant Arm: 14 in
Chest 43.5 in
Neck: 14.5 in
Natural Waistline: 40 in
1" below belly button: 48 in
Hips: 48.5 in
Dominant Leg: 29 in
Dominant Calf: 17.5 in
Weight: 228lbs

Is this embarrassing? Yes, but I am trying... at last, to change myself. I haven't tried these last five years because I didn't want to worry about things, I didn't want to obsess about food and exercise, I just wanted to be happy and I worried that if I started down this road, I wouldn't be happy. But, one week into this adventure, I find that it doesn't cause me the anxiety and guilt that I thought it would, but that I have more energy and I am still me and I am still happy.

A Plan...ish

So, here is my plan for now.

Diet:

• Keep a log of what I eat and how many calories I am eating
• Try and keep what I eat to 1500 calories a day
• Cut all baked goods, candy, and sweets
• Cut chips, fries, and fried foods
• Eat chicken and fish plentifully and red meat in moderation
• Cut down on butter and cheese and fats in my food choices

Exercise:

• Use eliptical or go on walks 3 days a week, at least 20 minutes
• Do strength training (yoga or weights) 3 days a week, at least 20 minutes

So, I am going to start out with this, using Calorie Counter as my guide, but I think that I will still need work out dvds to help me tone what I want to tone because I don't know the exercises to do it.

Weigh in and measurements tomorrow.

Overwhelmed Before I even Get Started

Yesterday, during all my research, I got a little overwhelmed. There is so much out there that I can do and I'm just not sure what TO do. I told Matt about what I had found yesterday and he told me that he found this calorie count website that is free and lets you plan your own program.

I like the idea of free, but the idea of designing my own diet and exercise plan really scares me. I don't know what exercises I need to do to tone my belly, thighs, and butt. I don't know how to design my own diet. I don't know how to do all that stuff. I just wants something that tells me what to do so that I can do it.

Then, because I was overwhelmed, I got discouraged because I am overwhelmed before I even get started. I don't want the work of getting healthy to be in the beginning, I want it to be in the middle, when I am actually watching what I am eating and exercising.

So, I will check out the calorie count website today and see if it is right for me. But, I am leaning toward the 60 day slimdown. But, Matt doesn't want to spend money on something that I won't like and therefore won't use. So, I guess I have to prove that I am ready to do this.

I have exercised every day this week (except Sunday because I'm not going to exercise on Sundays) and I've already noticed an improvement. On Monday, I could only be on the eliptical for 15 minutes before I was totally wasted (yeah, pathetic I know). But, yesterday, I was able to stay on for 22 minutes, which was a slight improvement. I don't have any resistance right now while I do it, but someday I will be able to do that hopefully.

I tried to do yoga last night while I was taking care of the kids, but they were not having any of that. Dan kept trying to climb me and Nicole kept taking my weights from me. I will have to accept that I have to exercise while the kids are sleeping.

I'm going to do a weigh in and measurements and then post them so that I can see my improvements as I go along, even though I haven't picked a plan yet for myself, I am still trying by exercising and cutting sugar from my eating. I still eat fruit for sugars, but no baked goods or candy.

I don't like this already. I really need to find a plan.

Finding Something That Works for Me

There are a whole lot of diets out there and there are a whole lot of exercise programs out there and I want to find something that is right for me. I know that I can't magically lose weight and tone my body, I don't know how to do it. I need help, I need a plan, and I need it to be healthy. Also, it can't just be a weight loss plan or just an exercise plan, I need a combo. I need to exercise and regulate my eating so that I don't lose muscle. I want to be strong. I have to be strong to take care of my kiddos.

I've been researching the last two days, trying to see what is out there and what could fit my needs. Here are some of my requirements:

I want to exercise at home. I know a lot of women like to go to the gym or work out classes, but I'm away from my kids for 8 hours a day, I don't want to spend MORE time away from home. I want to be home when I exercise. Lately, I have been going on walks with the kids and doing my eliptical at home. But, walking or jogging only works my legs and it is just cardio. I want to tone, so I need something more specific.

I don't want to starve myself or eat yucky stuff. I did the LA Weightloss with my parent's many years ago and I lost weight very quickly, but I felt like I was starving myself to do so. I was weighing my food, cutting out carbs almost completely (half a tortilla a day is nothing) and I felt hungry all the time. It was pretty awful. I want to eat healthy food without feeling hungry all the time and without being a crazy person.

I pretty much hate dieting because I start to obsess about food. It is all I start to think about and it drives me bonkers. I want to find a plan that makes me excited about the food I'm eating and leaves me feeling like I've had enough food. I don't want to starve!

Keeping all this in mind, here are some of the options I have found thus far:

Workouts:

-Slim in 6 This is a set of dvd workouts that are suppose to tone your butt, belly, and thighs in six weeks. It doesn't guarantee weightloss, but rather inches off your trouble areas. I've been reading about this on another bloggers site and her success.

-Top Trainers This is a 10 dvd set that offers variety to your workout. It claims you will never get bored and will see results in a week. I haven't read a blogger success story on this yet.

-Moms into Fitness This is a 60 day slim down, 4 dvd set that will help you slim down in 60 days and focuses on losing post baby weight. I saw this on baby steals and I've read a few blogs of people who have tried it and it helps lose inches, but not weight.

Diets:

-Weight Watchers This has so many success stories. It can definitely help lose pounds if you can stick to the diet. I know it is a system of points and you can track everything online and even have an app on your tablet to check for points on food items. I know this can work, it is just pricey. $65 for 4 months access to the online points list. Plus, you HAVE to pair it with exercise. The blogs that I have read say that if you don't exercise, you can become weak and unhealthy.

-Shakeology  I've read a lot about these and some people love them and some people hate them. It is $100 for one month of shakes and it replaces a meal. That itself won't help you lose weight, but if you pair it with one of their work out programs, like Slim in 6, then you can lose weight and inches. I don't know if I like the idea of a shake for a meal, and I definitely don't like the idea of spending 100 dollars on shakes every month, but it is something I looked at.

Also, there is a diet plan with Lindsay Brin's Mom's into Fitness that gives you basic rules for eating like drinking water and portions that will help you change how you eat without actually dieting.

What is right for me? I don't know yet. I'm going to talk to my husband about it. Figure out what we can afford and what will work for us because even though I want to change the way I eat, the food in our house still has to be able to feed the kids. I don't want to be making two meals every dinner; one for me and one for the kids. So, I've got to figure out what will work best.

For Me

This blog is for me. It has been one year (almost) since I had my last baby. I gained 60 pounds during my Dan pregnancy. I lost 40 pounds within a couple months of Dan being born. It was easy, I did nothing but nurse and the weight came off. But, I still have the other 20 pounds. And, I still have 10 pounds from my Nicole's pregnancy. And, I have 40 pounds from when I got married. I weigh 70 pounds more than when I first got married and it is starting to weigh on me.

I don't usually concern myself with my weight because it stresses me out. I don't like to be obsessed with what I eat and when I eat and how much I eat. It really brings me down. It makes me less of the happy person that I am. Plus, I love food, I love to cook, and I don't like to make things taste less good by making it "healthy."

But, I've been looking at myself lately, and I don't like what I see. I don't feel pretty or sexy. I feel like perma-mommy, which is to say, always a mommy, a mommy body all the time, not a hot wife body. I want to feel like a hot wife again.

But, to do that, it will need a lot of work. It will mean changing what I eat and exercising. I did LA Weightloss with my parents many years ago and I lost 9 pounds in 2 weeks and I was already a size 10 (which is small). So, I know that if I change what I do, the pounds can come off fairly easily, but it is a matter of commitment. If I am going to do this, I have to commit. I have to do it and do it right. I have to throw myself into a meal outline and exercise plan and stick to it.

But, this means that I have to give up my excuses. No more, "I'm tired." No more, "The kids won't let me." Or, "I don't want to make two meals." I know that my wonderful husband will back me in whatever decision I make. He has thus far. He has watched me gain and gain and hasn't pressured me to change a thing. He loves me no matter what. So, in deciding to change my weight, he will support me in this.

I want to do this for me. Not for my husband or for other's perceptions, but for me, so that I can feel better about me.