I haven't lost weight in months now. I know why I haven't lost any weight, because I haven't been trying. This semester has been... really really hard. I'm not even in school, but I refer to periods of time by "semester." That is sad in itself.
Between school and work, Matt and I rarely get any time together. I am a single parent whenever I am with the kids. And it is hard. And I find myself alone three nights a week, sitting on my bed and watching dumb TV... and then I get bored and I go and get a snack. Peanut butter bread, a bowl of ice cream, a ho ho, or cookies. Oh yeah, I love sweets at bedtime. Hence the not losing weight. But, luckily, I am not gaining weight either. I try and eat healthy during the day and then splurge at night. Bad Becky.
In addition to the stress of being alone all the time... I've got the baby hunger. And my body is just not agreeing with me right now. I want more babies! Matt is going to finish school next semester and I want our family to keep on growing. Unfortunately, my depo shot that I got in February is working a little too well. I haven't had a period since June. The doctor says that I can still get pregnant even if I'm not having a regular cycle, but I'm doubtful of that.
I'm watching my sister go through the last week of pregnancy and it is miserable... because the last week is always miserable. And even though it remind me of how horrible being pregnant is, I'm also reminded that her new little baby is going to be here in a week and pregnancy is all worth it when you have that sweet newborn in your arms. Yeah, I've got the baby hunger.
But, I suppose it is all for the best because perhaps with how tough this semester is, pregnancy would make it unbearable. So, I have to suppose that it will happen when it is meant to happen, even though I sometimes get anxious to make the life that I want to happen, happen now. But, realistically, the life I want to happen won't be until Matt graduates and has a career.
